Psalm 8 - Brings back good memories

1 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
2 From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise
because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.
3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet:
7 all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

As I read Psalm 8 the other night as part of my New Year's goal, it brought back some great memories - memories of a church and its people in Burtonsville, MD, Liberty Grove United Methodist Church. I attended this church with my family from the summer of 1991 to when I left for college in 1994. One of my favorite things about attending this church was that I was able to sing the adult choir. I loved it! I loved the people too. The adults greeted me with open arms and let me sing with them every week. This is where I learned the little that I know about singing and also where I learned things about what it meant to be an adult from the wonderful examples that I had around me. Anyway... It is wonderful to think about those days. Out of all the songs that I learned in that time (probably about 150 - one a week for 3 years), one song in particular stands out to me - a song named "The Majesty and Glory of Your Name." Ever since I learned it, I can sing it from memory. I have sung it many, many times in my life. Many times in bathrooms, from the bathroom in my parents' house to the shower stalls in my college community bathroom to the shower in my own house. There is something about the echoing bathroom that makes every song sound great... However, this song has touched my soul, it has taught me and reiterated over and over to me things about God. It has placed me in awe of God, humbled, and at other times given me much needed encouragement. I hope that you, too, are touched by its words.

The Majesty and Glory of Your Name (Fettke)
When I gaze into the night sky and see the work of your fingers,
The Moon and stars suspended in space.
Oh what is man, that you are mindful of him?

You have given man a crown of glory and honor
And have made him a little lower than the angels.
You have put him in charge of all creation
The beasts of the field, the birds of the air, the fish of the sea.
But what is man, what is man?

O Lord our God, the majesty and glory of your name
Transcends the earth and fills the heavens.
O Lord our God, little children praise you perfectly.
And so would we, and so would we.
Alleluia, Alleluia, the majesty and glory of your name!

First video (although, a little out-dated)

I just found that Webshots lets me upload videos and then post them on my blog. This isn't a very high quality video but it is a cute one! It is from the beginning of August. Incidently, I think this was the last time we washed our car...



Madelyn washing the car

Good first day!

Along with my first day back to work, yesterday was also Greyson's first day at daycare (or school, as we call it). Here is a picture his teacher took of him with a new little friend, Mia. And there is that snake again!! For those of you that remember, Madelyn also liked the snake (see pic below). Greyson has the same teacher as Madelyn did at his age so he gets to play with the snakes too! It seems that the babies like them alot. They are the rubber kind that won't break off in their mouths and they like to chew them. I think they fell good on those teething gums! I always teased that she was flossing with it...

Anyway! I seriously think something is wrong with me! I had a great day yesterday! I didn't get all emotional or anything. I guess I'm just really comfortable with where Greyson is and how he is going to be taken care of. Not that much has happened at work while I've been gone. Getting back into the swing of things hasn't been hard at all. All of my emails have been opened and I have tasks ready to be worked on. It's nice to see the co-workers again and catch up on what life has been throwing at them. Yesterday and today I have been pretty sleepy in the afternoons... why aren't there cots to take catnaps in?

Madelyn is also doing pretty well. In general, life didn't change for her at all yesterday. She went to daycare during my maternity leave just as she does when I'm work - T, W, Th. So, going to school for her yesterday was in the same routine. However, she did ask "Mommy, what you doing?" when she saw that I was all dressed up and putting on makeup. And when I said that I was going to work, she looked at me puzzled. I guess she doesn't really remember me getting ready for work before. I was almost always in bed when she and Ben left in the morning.

I say that Madelyn is doing pretty well, instead of great, because she is seriously in the "terrible two's". She is throwing fits at the drop of a hat. She knows what she wants and doesn't give up easily when we say no. She pushes her boundaries constantly - always looking for a way to get what she wants. And she is a sneaky booger sometimes! She will wait until you aren't looking to do whatever it is and then act like she didn't do it! Hmmm... the downfalls to having a smart kid. We have a beanbag that she sits on when she is disobeying us or when she starts throwing a fit. It works most of the time but sometimes it takes sitting on the beanbag 3 or 4 times before her attitude changes. I keep saying the same thing to myself lately to get through the "not so cute" moments - consistency and patience! However, there are plenty of "cute moments" too. Madelyn got two VeggieTales DVDs for Christmas that are compilations of the songs on their other DVDs. We have some much fun watching them with her! She loves them and the songs are so cute. We all have our favorite ones. Ben's favorite is Endangered Love. Madelyn's favorite is My Hairbrush, and my favorite is I Love My Lips. You can check these out on YouTube if you're interested.

Going back to work...tomorrow!

It has finally come... the first day back to work. I don't know how to feel about it. I like the work that I do and really like the people that I work with but... it is work. It has been really nice to be home and be able to have some one-on-one time with Greyson (Madelyn continued her 3 days at school every week) the last 12 weeks. It has also been nice to be able to make a "real" dinner and get the laundry and some household chores done every week. With work in the mix, it turns into a time crunch to get all of that done without sacrificing time with our children. And I'm only going back part-time, 24 hours/week. I don't know how families with 2 full-time working parents do it.

I have been pretty sad lately. Along with the emotions of going back to work, I am suspecting that I have been in a hormone down-swing. It is the normal "hair falling out, near tears" stage of being post-partum. I think that is one reason why I have been a little overwhelmed with the idea of life getting even more complicated with going to work. Although, have something else to spend mental energy on may be good for me.

I finished reading Jada's latest post a little while ago. It resonated loudly with me. I have also felt a lot of pressure to be a "stay-at-home mom" (SAHM). I know quite a few stay-at-home (christian) mom's and most are convinced that being a SAHM is the "right" thing to do, but they don't push their beliefs on me, or haven't recently anyway... But I'm not convinced that it is the "right" thing to do in all situations. It seems to me that this day in age, it is harder on moms to stay home because some many moms don't. Being a SAHM takes lots of support - from watching each other's kids when one kid has to go to the doctor to letting them play together so that they learn how to make friends. When you aren't plugged into a network of SAHM's, staying home with your kids is hard. On the other hand, it seems that so many women have so much to offer society in the work place. I am an engineer. I love problem-solving, technical work. If I chose to stay at home, I would not have the same outlet for this type of work and would get dull in my field. I truly feel that that would be a waste of my skills that GOD has given me. I haven't ruled out staying at home if the need arose. My family comes first, not my work. This is why I'm working part-time currently - to keep my skills sharp and to dedicate more time to my family. Not only because we have small children but also because I have a husband who works full-time and is in school (not to mention VERY involved in our church!). Something had to give and I didn't mind stepping back a bit from the full-speed-ahead rat-race. I enjoy the time with my children! But I also enjoy my time at work....

So, now I guess I know better how I feel about going back to work. I am looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to reconnecting and digging into a new set of problems to solve. I'm ready to use the skills again that I use so rarely at home and so abundantly at work. Wish me luck!

Genesis 29-30 - So many boys... just one girl?

First a disclaimer: this post is a rambling of thoughts... not very well organized.

Okay, so I'm reading along in Genesis and I get to one of the stories that I have always been fond of - Jacob in Paddan Aram. He is fleeing his home and went to his uncle's, Laban's, household. This is where he catches sight of Rachel. And it is love at first sight.... but Laban tricks him into marrying Leah her sister first and then he marries Rachel later. This is all very interesting to me but then I got to chapters 29 and 30. Jacob starts having children with the sisters... and their maidservants! Rachel, after being barren for some time, gave Jacob 2 sons; her maidservant gave him 2 sons as well; Leah's maidservant gave him 2 sons; and then Leah gave him 6 sons and... 1 daughter!?! One daughter in the whole bunch - 1 out of 13 children! I don't know why I find this so interesting. I also find it interesting that these two sisters are falling over each other to give Jacob children. They are having child after child, or when they don't conceive offering their maidservant to Jacob, to show each other up. The chapter reads pretty funny, especially verse 30:8 - "Then Rachel said, 'I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.'" I don't know whether to laugh or cry over these women feeling they have to compete for such a man as Jacob! The man that tricked his father and brother and ending up having to flee them and then he would soon trick his father-in-law as well! The other thing that I don't get is Rachel saying, "God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son." in verse 30:6 when it wasn't Rachel's son at all, it was her maidservant's. And what does God have to do with it? Did God really lead her to give her maidservant to Jacob? It doesn't read that way to me. How often do I do that? How often do I say that God has had more of a part in something than he really did, where it was really my doing. But then there is the agrument, "Everything comes from God..." Hmmm....

Almost time to go back to work!

Oh goodness! I can't believe how fast my maternity leave has flown! I go back to work in two weeks - I can't believe it! I'm glad that I'm only working part-time. I can't imagine the transition from being home full-time to working full-time. I will miss the alone time that I've had with Greyson though. He is such a sweet baby and I love having quiet play time with him on the days that Madelyn is at school. When Madelyn is here, it is like a tornado going through! It is wonderful seeing how well she is getting along with her brother. I don't think she is jealous of him at all. I think she may be jealous of the one-on-one attention Greyson gets at eating time, but in general she is handling having a little brother VERY well. And I think that we, the parents, are handling having two kids fairly well too. Thankfully, Ben is a hands-on Dad. I don't think I could do it otherwise.

Today, Ben has his first class of the quarter. He is taking two classes this quarter so it could be a rough one. Hopefully not. Graciously, his classes are in the afternoons rather than in the evenings so he may go in a little early and come home a little late some days to make up hours at work but he won't be gone any evenings. That is good! I could take care of the kids by myself, but I'm glad that I don't have to. Ben will, of course, have homework that he will need to get done but he is pretty good about working on that after Madelyn goes to bed. He only has three more classes left - 2 this quarter and 1 next quarter. Then he graduates on June 2nd! I'm so excited for him!

Thankful for every moment

Today I was thinking back on when Madelyn was as old as Greyson is now. I remember being so emotionally fragile. I was fragile because I was recovering from the depression that life was throwing at me after Madelyn's birth. I am realizing now that it probably wasn't just the post-partum hormones that were causing my funk, although I'm sure that they helped. I think it was just my mind trying to cope with a complete shift in life and responsibilities. But MAN! It hit me pretty hard. Thankfully, I had Ben and my mom to pick up the slack with Madelyn.... they literally only brought her to me when she needed to nurse. It was sad... I don't really even remember the first two weeks of her life. I'm glad that a lot of pictures were taken so that I can see what she looked like and how she changed in those weeks. Looking back on that makes me realize how fortunate I have been to not have issues after Greyson was born. What an amazing time! It has been amazing to see him change and grow. It has been amazing to see his sister take to him so well and genuinely want to help me take care of him. I am in awe.

Greyson at 7 days old.

Genesis 6:20

One of the reasons that I decided to challenge myself by reading the Bible (albeit abridged) was because I think I depend too much on other people's interpretations of the Bible. I need to read the Bible more myself and make my own interpretations! Something I have found though, is that I am surprised by the details of the stories that I have read so far that I didn't know. For instance, let's look at Genesis 6:20 - Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. I don't think I ever knew that the animals came to Noah! I always thought that he gathered up the animals... why did I think that? I wonder if it is because I have never taken the time to read the story for myself. I always assumed that I knew the story because I have heard it a million times, especially in the last 2 1/2 years. It really puts a different spin on the story for me. Yes, Noah would have built the ark simply out of obedience but if he had questioned at all that this request was from God, he didn't have to question it anymore once all these pairs of animals started showing up to enter the ark! How amazing would it be to see animals lining up of the own accord for you save them from God's wrath? Hmm....

Happy New Year!

It starting snowing yesterday... and it snowed and snowed and snowed! So this morning we woke up to a beautiful yard full of it! The first couple of days after it snows is the best part of living in a place where it snows - the snow is still beautiful, white and clean, and you can play in it because it isn't packed down yet. So, after Ben snow-blowed the driveway, we all got bundled up and headed down to our sledding hill to let Madelyn get some more runs on her new sled. The hill was packed with people but luckily our little corner of the hill wasn't discovered yet. That way we didn't have to worry about Madelyn being run over by a runaway sled and she got to sled on unpacked snow. We did have to watch that some guys with their new snowboards didn't move over to close to us (they started making me nervous right before we left).

Greyson is getting so cute! He is cooing and starting to respond to us when we are playing with him - yay! The next 10 months are fun in that way. However, he is also going through a "not sleeping at night" streak.... not fun. He got his shots last Thursday so I wonder if it's that he's doesn't feel all that good. I don't know. All I know is that I haven't had a good night's sleep in several nights. I'm tired....

A goal for the new year...

Yesterday at church, our good pastor asked the congregation to consider setting a goal of reading the whole Bible this year. I have heard this request before and have never really taken it seriously because, frankly, it doesn't seem doable. But this year I was impressed by Pastor Stan's request. It not only came with pleading words but also with some help for those of us that need it. He made up three pamphlets to choose from, each listing a reading a day for a year - Plan A covers the most frequented chapters of the Bible that will take about 5-8 minutes a day, Plan B covers that and Old Testament History and Psalms that takes about 10-12 minutes a day, and Plan C covers the WHOLE thing that takes at least 20 minutes a day. Okay, I decided to commit to choosing one and then decided that I didn't want to disappoint myself later on so I chose Plan A. Hopefully next year I can commit to Plan B or C, but this year I think Plan A is doable. So, I'm gonna start today at Genesis 1. Wish me luck! Maybe you will hear about what I have read along the way...