It has finally come... the first day back to work. I don't know how to feel about it. I like the work that I do and really like the people that I work with but... it is work. It has been really nice to be home and be able to have some one-on-one time with Greyson (Madelyn continued her 3 days at school every week) the last 12 weeks. It has also been nice to be able to make a "real" dinner and get the laundry and some household chores done every week. With work in the mix, it turns into a time crunch to get all of that done without sacrificing time with our children. And I'm only going back part-time, 24 hours/week. I don't know how families with 2 full-time working parents do it.
I have been pretty sad lately. Along with the emotions of going back to work, I am suspecting that I have been in a hormone down-swing. It is the normal "hair falling out, near tears" stage of being post-partum. I think that is one reason why I have been a little overwhelmed with the idea of life getting even more complicated with going to work. Although, have something else to spend mental energy on may be good for me.
I finished reading Jada's latest post a little while ago. It resonated loudly with me. I have also felt a lot of pressure to be a "stay-at-home mom" (SAHM). I know quite a few stay-at-home (christian) mom's and most are convinced that being a SAHM is the "right" thing to do, but they don't push their beliefs on me, or haven't recently anyway... But I'm not convinced that it is the "right" thing to do in all situations. It seems to me that this day in age, it is harder on moms to stay home because some many moms don't. Being a SAHM takes lots of support - from watching each other's kids when one kid has to go to the doctor to letting them play together so that they learn how to make friends. When you aren't plugged into a network of SAHM's, staying home with your kids is hard. On the other hand, it seems that so many women have so much to offer society in the work place. I am an engineer. I love problem-solving, technical work. If I chose to stay at home, I would not have the same outlet for this type of work and would get dull in my field. I truly feel that that would be a waste of my skills that GOD has given me. I haven't ruled out staying at home if the need arose. My family comes first, not my work. This is why I'm working part-time currently - to keep my skills sharp and to dedicate more time to my family. Not only because we have small children but also because I have a husband who works full-time and is in school (not to mention VERY involved in our church!). Something had to give and I didn't mind stepping back a bit from the full-speed-ahead rat-race. I enjoy the time with my children! But I also enjoy my time at work....
I have been pretty sad lately. Along with the emotions of going back to work, I am suspecting that I have been in a hormone down-swing. It is the normal "hair falling out, near tears" stage of being post-partum. I think that is one reason why I have been a little overwhelmed with the idea of life getting even more complicated with going to work. Although, have something else to spend mental energy on may be good for me.
I finished reading Jada's latest post a little while ago. It resonated loudly with me. I have also felt a lot of pressure to be a "stay-at-home mom" (SAHM). I know quite a few stay-at-home (christian) mom's and most are convinced that being a SAHM is the "right" thing to do, but they don't push their beliefs on me, or haven't recently anyway... But I'm not convinced that it is the "right" thing to do in all situations. It seems to me that this day in age, it is harder on moms to stay home because some many moms don't. Being a SAHM takes lots of support - from watching each other's kids when one kid has to go to the doctor to letting them play together so that they learn how to make friends. When you aren't plugged into a network of SAHM's, staying home with your kids is hard. On the other hand, it seems that so many women have so much to offer society in the work place. I am an engineer. I love problem-solving, technical work. If I chose to stay at home, I would not have the same outlet for this type of work and would get dull in my field. I truly feel that that would be a waste of my skills that GOD has given me. I haven't ruled out staying at home if the need arose. My family comes first, not my work. This is why I'm working part-time currently - to keep my skills sharp and to dedicate more time to my family. Not only because we have small children but also because I have a husband who works full-time and is in school (not to mention VERY involved in our church!). Something had to give and I didn't mind stepping back a bit from the full-speed-ahead rat-race. I enjoy the time with my children! But I also enjoy my time at work....
So, now I guess I know better how I feel about going back to work. I am looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to reconnecting and digging into a new set of problems to solve. I'm ready to use the skills again that I use so rarely at home and so abundantly at work. Wish me luck!
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