Today, Sarah would have been 9 years old...
For those that don't know, Sarah is the daughter that I lost in college when I was only 22 weeks pregnant. If you are a friend and it isn't something that has come up in conversation with you, don't think that I am trying to keep it quiet. It is an odd topic to come up in conversation and it probably just didn't have an opportunity to surface yet. I don't mind talking about it at all! Sarah was a blessing to me in many ways.
Needless to say, though, today is a bittersweet day for me. Sad that she couldn't stay with me but blessed to have had her in my life. God really used her little life to speak to me in so many ways.
The hard part for me this year is that I am 24 weeks pregnant right now. To be in such a similar physical state (yet, SUCH a different place in life) to where I was when I lost Sarah leaves me feeling very odd. Odd because I know that this child has such a better chance at life than she did and that Pipsqueak wouldn't have that great chance at life if it wasn't for Sarah. Even though it feels so wrong, I mourn my loss of Sarah but praise God that Madleyn and Pipsqueak (and the children I might carry in the future) don't have to endure the same hardship because of what I learned through my experience with her.
Ben and I were discussing how my life would have been different if Sarah had made it or if she would never have been conceived at all. And in either case, I think my life would have been impacted greatly! Ben then mentioned that any birth of a child - first, fourth, planned, or unplanned - changes the lives of its parents. How true! Sarah, Madelyn, and now Pipsqueak have definitely changed mine... and I love them all for it!
I miss you, Sarah.
3 comments:
Hey Melissa, I am so glad that you left a note on my blog page because that gave me a way to check out your blog page! :) This paragraph really had me remembering a lot of things from many years ago in Ruston. I just wanted you to know that I love you and that if you would like, I would love to have the honor of going by Sarah's grave site to leave her flowers and if you would like to write her a note, I could leave that as well. Let me know. If I don't hear from you, I will still leave the flowers. :) Love in Christ, Jill
Mel,
I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. May God continue to bring healing and peace.
Love,
Cousin Catherine
Melissa, thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. Deb mentioned you! Yes, it is very amazing how different stages of life affect things and the impact of every birth is deep. Thanks for sharing. Naomi
Post a Comment